9 Sleep Tips Doctors Want Every Woman to Know, Including What to Do When You Wake at 3 a.m.

Get ready for your best night's sleep yet!

Your energy, health, and mood all depend on getting enough good sleep. Sleep experts have plenty of evidence-based advice, but most visits only allow time for the basics. So we asked leading doctors to share the surprising sleep habits they wish every woman knew. These small changes can help you fall asleep more quickly, stay asleep longer, and wake up feeling refreshed.

9 sleep secrets doctors rarely explain

If you want your best night of sleep yet, start with these insider tips from sleep specialists.

No one sleeps through the night

If you keep waking up and assume it means your sleep is poor, think again. Those brief awakenings are normal, and humans are biologically designed for them. “All humans wake up every one and a half hours at the end of each REM cycle,” says Rafael Pelayo, MD, a clinical professor in Stanford University’s Sleep Medicine division and author of How to Sleep. Most of the time, you are awake only for seconds, perhaps shifting position before drifting off again. “There’s only a problem when you can’t get back to sleep.”

Trying too hard can backfire

Have you tried every sleep aid available—apps, trackers, supplements, and aromatherapy sprays—without success? It may be time to stop chasing perfect sleep altogether. “The harder we try to achieve ‘perfect’ sleep, the more we start monitoring and judging it: how long it’s taking, how many times we wake up or whether we’ll feel tired tomorrow,” says neurologist and sleep medicine specialist Pedram Navab, DO, author of The Alchemy of Sleep. That pressure keeps the brain activated and makes it harder to relax. His suggestion: instead of forcing sleep, try staying awake. “This technique, called paradoxical intention, reduces the worry and hyperarousal that keep the brain alert,” he explains. Then the body’s natural sleep drive can take over, “and you often drift off without trying.”

Going to bed later can improve sleep

People with insomnia often think getting into bed earlier will help them recover lost sleep, but the opposite is true, says psychologist and sleep medicine specialist Stephanie Silberman, PhD, author of The Insomnia Workbook. “Extra time in bed while wide awake worsens insomnia.” Lying there frustrated and anxious about not sleeping only increases alertness. Her advice is to wait for clear signs of sleepiness—such as yawning, heavy eyelids, or nodding off—before going to bed, even if that means delaying bedtime by an hour or more. “This way, the time you spend in bed is more likely to be while sleeping.” Over time, the brain relearns to link the bed with sleep rather than wakefulness, making it easier to fall asleep.

Sound machines can shorten REM sleep

Devices that play a soft wash of pink noise are often used to block out traffic or barking dogs. But research from the University of Pennsylvania suggests this soothing sound can interfere with the brain’s sleep-regulating systems, reducing REM sleep by 19 minutes a night—and that matters. “REM sleep is important for emotion regulation and memory consolidation,” says lead author Mathias Basner, MD, PhD. If it is reduced for months or years, it may have lasting health effects, including lower brain function. A better option may be foam earplugs. The same study found that this simple over-the-counter solution blocked noise effectively without reducing REM.

Therapy can help with night sweats

If overheating in the middle of the night because of menopause keeps waking you up, you may already have tried common fixes such as a fan or a cooling pillow. But Dr. Navab says there is another helpful option: cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This short-term treatment—often lasting two to six months—teaches you how to change your response when a hot flash wakes you and how to use calming methods like slow, deep breathing. “It doesn’t stop the body from having a hot flash, but it can quiet the alarm response around it and make it easier to fall back asleep,” Dr. Navab explains. A Baylor College of Medicine study found that women who completed weekly 50-minute CBT sessions for eight weeks slept better within the first month.

Writing things down can lead to better sleep

One way to sleep more soundly is to spend 10 minutes at the end of the day writing down tomorrow’s worries and tasks, says Dr. Pelayo. If you go to bed with unresolved thoughts—like reminding yourself to buy a birthday card—you are likely to sleep more lightly. “That’s because you’re giving your body mixed signals,” he explains. “You’re trying to sleep, but you’re also telling yourself to stay awake to remember unfinished business.” Making a quick list of the next day’s responsibilities helps clear those mental loose ends and reduces the internal tug-of-war so your body can relax.

Don’t brush off snoring

Noisy breathing, insomnia, morning headaches, anxiety, excessive daytime sleepiness, or waking with a racing heart can all point to sleep apnea, a condition in which breathing briefly stops as the airway collapses. “After menopause, a woman’s risk of sleep apnea rises significantly as the hormonal protection for the airway declines,” says sleep specialist Alison Kole, MD, host of the Sleep Is My Waking Passion podcast. If untreated, the condition does more than disrupt rest—it is also linked to high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke.

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The good news is that treatment options have expanded greatly, Dr. Kole says. “There’s CPAP, custom oral appliances, positional therapy, implantable devices and even a medication now FDA-approved for sleep apnea in people with obesity, with more options likely to come in the future.” She recommends scheduling a formal sleep consultation, which can support both better sleep and better long-term health.

Napping is not ideal for people with insomnia

A brief, well-timed nap in the early afternoon can provide a quick burst of energy—as long as it stays within 10 to 20 minutes so you do not slip into deep sleep and wake up groggy, says Dr. Kole. “But naps aren’t for everyone,” she cautions. If insomnia is already a problem, it is better to avoid them unless they are absolutely necessary for safety. Daytime sleep can weaken the drive to sleep at night and lead to more broken rest, she explains.

Warm feet may help you fall asleep faster

“A slight drop in core temperature is one of the signals that helps the brain transition into sleep,” says Dr. Navab. One of the easiest ways to encourage that change is to warm your feet. “Wearing light socks or taking a warm footbath opens the blood vessels near the skin, allowing the body to release heat,” he explains. As the body cools, the brain receives the cue that it is time to feel sleepy, which can help you drift off sooner.