Why money talk at the holiday table can actually be helpful

If young adults are joining your holiday meal, finances may come up. In a consumer money survey of more than 3,200 respondents conducted by Forbright Bank, 72% of U.S. adults under 30 said they feel comfortable discussing money with family and friends. That compares with 56% of Millennials, 47% of Gen Xers and 31% of Boomers.

The gap may reflect different pressures across generations. Younger adults are often balancing early careers and growing families at a time when the cost of living continues to rise. Some also rely on parents for financial support, which can make the topic hard to avoid.

“Social media and increasing transparency have made it easier to talk openly about all kinds of topics, including money, which was considered off-limits,” says Lucia Franco, consumer insights expert at Forbright Bank. She adds that older adults in the survey tended to be more private about money, while younger adults may be helping normalize open discussion.

As families gather for the holidays, it helps to be ready if the subject comes up. Money conversations can feel awkward at first, but they can also be useful and relieving. If the opportunity arises, here’s how to approach the topic with family and friends in a thoughtful way.

Why Money Conversations Can Help

Money is not always a topic to force into conversation, but sometimes people need a safe place to talk about financial stress and learn from relatives’ experience.

These discussions may offer several benefits:

• Reduce shame and anxiety. Money can carry a heavy emotional load, especially when debt is high, savings are thin or the basics are still confusing. Speaking openly and asking for help can take away some of that burden.
• Build trust and alignment. Honest conversations with a partner or parent can reveal hidden debt and help everyone work toward the same goals. Knowing a parent’s financial situation is especially important if you serve as executor or power of attorney.
• Improve financial literacy. Talking about budgets, debt and income can surface practical advice from people you trust. That can be especially valuable for children and young adults developing healthy money habits.
• Support confidence in salary talks. More openness can make pay discussions feel more normal, which may help people negotiate more confidently.
• Reduce social pressure. Saying what you can afford makes dinners, trips and gifts easier to plan fairly. It can also help people understand how others manage debt, savings or financial guidance.

How to Talk About Money With Family and Friends

If finances do come up, aim to keep the conversation warm and low-pressure. Stay focused on shared values rather than exact numbers, and avoid sounding judgmental.

With family

• Use “I” statements so the discussion centers on your own experience rather than blame.
• Keep specific dollar amounts private when possible, which can make it easier to talk about goals.
• Offer advice in broad terms. This is not a financial planning appointment; it is a chance to share history, what you have tried and what you hope for next.

Ask open-ended questions instead of probing about income or debt. A gentle question about how your parents imagine retirement can be a better starting point.

With friends

• Be upfront if you need to scale back on costly meals or outings. Good friends will usually understand.
• Suggest low-cost plans, such as a park picnic or other free community events like museum days, outdoor movies, concerts, potlucks or book clubs.
• Stay supportive. Celebrate friends’ wins and avoid comparing your finances with theirs.

You may decide the holidays are not the right time for money talk, and that is perfectly fine. But if the topic surfaces, remember that you are really discussing values and priorities, not just dollars and cents.

Survey Methodology

Forbright Bank’s Growth Savings Customer Survey was conducted by Qualtrics by email and included 3,241 respondents, among them 1,389 Growth Savings customers and 1,852 general U.S. consumers. Generation groups follow U.S. Census definitions for Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials and Generation Z.

This story was produced by Forbright Bank and reviewed and distributed by Stacker.

If young adults are joining your holiday meal, finances may come up. In a consumer money survey of more than 3,200 respondents conducted by Forbright Bank, 72% of U.S. adults under 30 said they feel comfortable discussing money with family and friends. That compares with 56% of Millennials, 47% of Gen Xers and 31% of Boomers.

The difference may reflect the pressures younger adults face as they begin careers and start families while living costs keep climbing. Some also depend on parents for financial help, which makes money a more unavoidable subject.

“Social media and increasing transparency have made it easier to talk openly about all kinds of topics, including money, which was considered off-limits,” says Lucia Franco, consumer insights expert at Forbright Bank. She notes that older adults in the survey were generally more private about finances, while younger adults may be showing the value of discussing money more openly.

As families gather, it can help to be ready if the conversation turns to finances. Talking about money may feel uncomfortable at first, but it can also be relieving and practical. If the topic comes up, here are some ways to handle it well.

Talking About Money Can Be Positive

Money is not always a subject to raise casually, but some people may need a safe place to share concerns and learn from family experience.

Here are a few ways these conversations can help:

• Reduce shame and anxiety. Debt, overspending, low savings or not understanding money basics can feel embarrassing. Speaking honestly and asking for guidance can lighten the load.
• Build trust and alignment. Open discussions with a partner or parent can uncover hidden debt and keep everyone moving toward the same goals. Understanding a parent’s finances matters even more if you are their executor or power of attorney.
• Improve financial literacy. Talking through budgets, debt and income can provide practical lessons from people you trust. It can also help children and young adults build healthy money habits.
• Support confidence in pay negotiation. When salary discussions become more normal, people may feel better equipped to advocate for themselves.
• Ease social pressure. Being clear about what you can afford makes it easier to plan meals, trips and gifts. It can also answer the quiet question many people ask: how does everyone else manage this?

How to Talk to Family and Friends About Money

If you expect finances to come up, keep the discussion warm, modest and low-stakes. Focus on values, not on impressing anyone with numbers.

With family

• Use “I” statements so the conversation stays centered on your own experience.
• Leave exact dollar amounts out when possible, since that makes it easier to discuss broader goals.
• Keep advice general. This should be a conversation about history, lessons learned and future plans, not a detailed financial planning session.

Ask open-ended questions instead of pointed ones about income or debt. A softer question about retirement plans can open the door without sounding intrusive.

With friends

• Be honest early if you need to cut back on expensive outings. True friends will likely respond with understanding.
• Offer lower-cost alternatives, such as free neighborhood events, outdoor movies, concerts, potlucks or book clubs.
• Avoid judging. Celebrate your friends’ successes and do not compare their finances with your own.

If you decide not to discuss money over the holidays, that is fine. But if it does come up, keep in mind that the conversation is really about priorities and values.

Survey Methodology

Forbright Bank’s Growth Savings Customer Survey was conducted by Qualtrics by email. It included 3,241 respondents, among them 1,389 Growth Savings customers and 1,852 general U.S. consumers. Generational labels follow U.S. Census definitions of Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials and Generation Z.