Memory Problems As You Get Older: What’s Typical and What May Signal Something Else

Shifts in memory and thinking can feel unsettling.

As people age, it’s normal to occasionally forget details such as a friend’s youngest nephew’s name or a word needed to finish a sentence.

Even though these slips are usually harmless, many older adults worry that they could mean dementia. In fact, nearly half report anxiety about developing the condition.

Brain aging is not the same for everyone. Some people, sometimes called “Super Agers,” stay cognitively sharp into their 90s, while others notice changes decades earlier. Still, ordinary age-related changes in memory, attention, perception, language and other cognitive skills often begin sooner than many expect.

“On average, on many cognitive tests ... people peak around age 30, and then the rest of us are all on this slow decline in terms of that formal testing since then,” said Dr. Carolyn Fredericks, an assistant professor of neurology at Yale School of Medicine in Connecticut.

“It’s very normal to see changes in how we do, not just on formal cognitive testing, but on day-to-day situations in our lives as we get older,” Fredericks added.

There is a clear line between ordinary age-related changes and signs of dementia. Here’s what healthy aging can look like, even when it feels frustrating:

1. Learning new things may take more time.

Older adults often need more time to pick up new skills, such as updated computer features or the newest smartphone functions.

According to Dr. Adjoa Smalls-Mantey, an emergency psychiatrist in New York City and president of the New York County Psychiatric Society, learning new information does become a little harder with age.

“You’re going to have to repeat it a few more times in order to learn it,” she said.

A younger person may quickly memorize their grandmother’s phone number, but it will likely take grandmother longer to memorize her grandson’s number — and that is normal.

2. Finding the right word can be more difficult.

“Our thinking as we age is just slower in general,” said Dr. Robert Underwood, a neuropsychologist at the UofL Health — Brain & Spine Institute in Kentucky.

The most common complaint he hears is difficulty recalling a specific word or phrase.

“That tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon,” Underwood said.

“It takes us longer to find that word or pull up that information, but it’s still there ... we haven’t lost it completely,” he continued. It may take a moment to remember the name of a neighbor’s dog or the word you want to use, but it eventually comes back.

According to Smalls-Mantey, “if you forget a word ... and then you remember the word five seconds later or a minute later, that’s normal.”

“Or even if you forget someone’s name, but you remember it a few minutes later. All of those things are normal things that occur with aging, and just really your brain is functioning a little bit slower,” Smalls-Mantey said.

“More often than not ... it’s not symptomatic of dementia,” Underwood said. “That’s something that’s very common with age: trouble coming up with the word and pausing when you’re speaking.”

3. Forgetting why you entered a room is common.

Fredericks said it is completely normal to walk into a room and forget what you intended to do there.

“And then you leave the room and you remember,” Fredericks said.

You might go into a bedroom to get a phone charger and then get distracted by laundry that needs folding.

“Those kinds of things I hear all the time, and those are the kinds of things we would consider very typical and characteristic of healthy aging,” Fredericks said.

4. Misplacing things happens more often.

“It’s common to like misplace your belongings ... this can happen occasionally,” Underwood said.

That is usually not a concern unless it starts to interfere with your day. You may forget where your glasses are, only to find them in the kitchen a few minutes later.

These behaviors are normal as long as they do not make daily activities difficult.

5. Multitasking may become harder.

Smalls-Mantey said juggling several tasks at once tends to get more difficult with age.

Someone who once cooked dinner while answering email and cleaning up may find that kind of multitasking harder to manage. She noted that older adults may even burn food while trying to do too many things at once.

Changes that raise concern are those that disrupt everyday life.

“Everyone is a little different. What’s normal for one person might not be normal for someone else,” Fredericks said.

If you or your family notice changes in cognition, Underwood said it is important to speak with a doctor, who can perform tests and screenings.

“In general, the kinds of things that I’d worry about are: if your family starts telling you ... ’you just asked me that [question] five minutes ago,’” Fredericks said. Repeated questioning, usually noticed by someone else, is a “big concern,” she added.

“If you find that you’re having trouble finding your way on a familiar route, like driving home from the grocery store,” that is another warning sign, Fredericks said.

If you begin forgetting long-known facts, such as the name of your employer for many years or the names of people you grew up with, that may also be a red flag, Smalls-Mantey said.

Word-finding trouble can be part of normal aging, but it is not typical to start naming objects incorrectly, such as asking for a fork but calling it a napkin, or needing a pen and calling it paper.

“I think that people should be worried when these changes are getting worse in their thinking and memory, when they’re happening more often, when they disrupt day-to-day functioning and they get in the way of doing things they used to be able to do successfully and without any confusion or problems,” Underwood said.

Memory, thinking or language changes become more concerning when they affect the ability to function.

“Is your day-to-day functioning impaired? Do you require more assistance from other people to do these activities that you could do before? If that’s true, then we are talking about more concerning signs of dementia syndrome,” Underwood said.

Sometimes, cognitive changes are not caused by dementia at all. They may stem from a new medication, sleep deprivation or mood changes connected to the stress of later life.

“We would call that a reversible cause or a treatable cause of memory changes,” said Underwood.

Healthy habits can reduce a large share of dementia risk.

“Almost 50% of our dementia risk is reversible or is related to what we call modifiable risk factors,” Fredericks said.

People can take steps throughout life to lower the risk, including managing high cholesterol, diabetes and hearing loss, staying active, eating a nutritious diet such as the Mediterranean-inspired MIND diet, addressing depression and avoiding smoking.

Getting enough good-quality sleep every night is also important, Smalls-Mantey added.

Dementia can also be genetic, so not everything is within a person’s control. If any worrying signs of cognitive decline appear, Underwood said not to wait.

“If you’re concerned, get on it sooner rather than later. There are things we can do in terms of treatments and medications now that are beneficial and helpful,” he said.