13 Southern Courtesy Habits That Stand the Test of Time

Growing up, many of us learn the Golden Rule, the importance of waiting our turn, and other basic etiquette lessons. As adults, it helps to revisit those habits and remember why they matter in everyday life.

Below are several common courtesy rules every Southerner should keep in mind. Some may seem obvious, but our editors shared a few real-life examples that suggest they are worth repeating.

General Niceties

Make A Strong First Impression

Avery Johnson, founder of The Southern Academy of Etiquette, says it is important to greet others with a smile, offer a firm handshake, and maintain eye contact when someone is speaking to you. “Common courtesy is a powerful start to building better relationships, effective communication, and simply spreading kindness,” she says.

Basic manners still matter, including saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” Whenever possible, make an effort to learn someone’s first name. “It makes others feel special,” Johnson adds.

Cough With Care

Health concerns have changed the way many people live and interact, and some of those lessons are worth keeping. One of the simplest is covering your mouth when you cough, along with helping young children do the same in public.

At A Party

Treat Other People’s Homes With Respect

When visiting someone’s home, ask whether they would like you to remove your shoes before stepping inside, says Elaine Swann, a lifestyle and etiquette expert and founder of The Swann School of Protocol. It is also thoughtful to bring a small host gift, such as a bottle of wine.

Respect The Rules Of The Event

Whether it is a backyard safari party or a bridal tea, follow the expectations of any themed event, Swann says. If you are asked to wear certain attire, do so when you can. Arrive on time, and remember that unless the invitation specifically includes a plus-one, it is meant for you alone.

At Work

Don’t Get Too Comfortable At The Office

“Be mindful of the footprint that you bring into the office. Don’t schlep all of your stuff in. When you’re in the restroom, don’t overdo it with primping in the mirror,” Swann says. “Just remember, it’s not your home away from home; it’s a place of business. Respect the workspace.”

Steer Clear Of Workplace Gossip

Although gossip with coworkers may seem like a harmless way to pass the time, Johnson warns against it.

“It’s important to speak kindly about others and to protect your character. Participating in gossip isn’t a power move,” she says. “Gossip isn’t an asset to your life.” Johnson also encourages people to avoid excessive complaining and negative talk at work.

Out and About

Travel And Commute Politely

From entering and leaving buildings to riding public transportation, there is always room for a little grace. A good rule of thumb is to hold the door open for the person behind you, as long as they are close enough that you are not making them hurry unnecessarily.

“Give up your seat—whether in church, on public transport, or in a waiting room—for someone who may need it more, such as an older person or a parent with kids,” adds Senior Travel and Culture Editor Tara Massouleh McCay. And when waiting for an elevator, train, or other form of transportation, let passengers exit before you enter.

Remember That Your Phone Is Not An Appendage

It is easy to feel as though a phone is permanently attached to us, but in public, it is important to remember that it is not.

“It’s essential to take advantage of in-person connections,” Johnson says, and that includes strangers you encounter in stores and restaurants. “Texting or chatting on the phone while the cashier is ringing you up is so dismissive,” says Senior Homes and Features Editor Betsy Watson.

And when it comes to volume, there is little excuse for speakerphone in public unless it is truly necessary. The same goes for playing music, videos, podcasts, or any other audio out loud in shared spaces.

Tidy Up After Yourself

Common courtesy also means not leaving a mess behind after you leave a place, whether that is a restaurant, hotel room, or store.

At restaurants, staff can usually handle an overturned drink or spilled condiment. But at busy fast-food and fast-casual spots, there may not be a dedicated server to help immediately. “You should throw away your garbage and wipe up any obvious spills when you’re done,” Overdeep says. The point is not to deep-clean the table, but to leave it with consideration for the worker who will clean up after you.

The same applies to hotel rooms, which are often treated far too casually. “Yes, housekeeping will clean your hotel room top to bottom, but that doesn’t mean you should leave it a mess,” Watson says.

As the Host

Dress The Part

Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert and founder of The Protocol School of Texas, points to a rule many people once followed more closely: put your best foot forward when visiting someone’s home, attending a party, or applying for a job. “Even though casual wear is prevalent in most environments, there is a positive psychological association to dressing up. You feel better and present yourself more confidently when you look your best,” she says.

Always Offer Alcohol-Free Options

With terms like mocktail and sober-curious now part of everyday language, alcohol-free living is more visible and widely accepted than before. Hosts should never assume that everyone will drink and should always provide nonalcoholic options besides water so guests do not feel awkward asking. It is also never appropriate to pressure someone about why they are not drinking.

“A Southern girl may choose not to drink alcohol at a wedding, cocktail party, or other celebration for a variety of reasons,” Gottsman says. “There is no need to make excuses. A good host knows to always have a selection of beverages, alcoholic and nonalcoholic, at the ready.”

Respecting Family and Friends

The Dog Days Are Over

Even in a dog-friendly world, an invitation to someone’s home does not automatically extend to your pet. Even if the host is a close friend who also has a dog, always ask before bringing your pup along.

Post With Care

Social media has created a new set of etiquette challenges, and Swann says it is important to be mindful of other people’s privacy. You may be comfortable sharing online, but not everyone is.

“If you’re going to take photos or videos while in someone else’s home, be mindful of what you’re sharing. Try to keep your photo or video cropped so you’re just depicting yourself and whoever’s in the photo with you and not the interior of the home, artwork, or family photos on the walls,” Swann says.

Likewise, not every image needs to be posted. “Everyone enjoys taking a beautiful picture at a lovely event, but don’t post pictures of anyone without their permission,” Gottsman says. That is especially important when children are involved, since many parents prefer not to share photos of their kids online, and that choice should be respected.